Dear Theophilus:: December 2003

Christmas Past, Present, and Future: The Gamer's Wish List

It is true that the heart is made warm by giving and receiving. But what about the rest of the body? The rest of the body needs to have fun as well. So, as a public service, this article will attempt to narrow down your search of the perfect Christmas gift. Now, given my limited expertise in anything but electronic entertainment, here's what I call The Gamer's Wish List.

Note to all: I'm not advocating the commercialization of Christmas or anything. But hey, if you have to get a gift, you might as well get a gift that others will appreciate.

Now, to elaborate, there are separate categories of gamers:

1) Hardcore Gamers: these people eat, sleep, and drink games. They are the ones that keep up to date on the latest games, even with the Japanese gaming scene. They know about games 1-2 years before they come out in America. And yes, they're loud and proud that they play games.

2) Closet Gamers: these people may be as hardcore as the hardcore gamers. However, you will only know that they play. They will never let on that they play a lot or that they research video games as much as their school projects. You may see them play, but they will always turn off the game as soon as you walk in (saving the game first, of course).

3) Mainstream Gamers: this category represents the large majority of gamers. They acknowledge that they play some video games, but mostly sports games or fighting games. They also may play other types of "cool" games with lots of neat graphics. While they think video games are cool, they play only when they have time or are bored.

4) Casual Gamers: this category of gamers do not play games very much. In fact, they only learn to play the "cool" games: Dance Dance Revolution, or perhaps some shooting game they find at Dave and Buster's.

Now, we all know people that fit into each category. I, for instance, maintain that I am a closet gamer (though lots of people disagree). Many sisters fit into the barely gamer category (though there are exceptions). And lots of people play computer games but not console video games (yes, they are TWO separate categories). In order to avoid a long discourse, I have decided to name a few games for each category that will make them pretty happy.

Please note that hardcore gamers will generally like almost anything that closet gamers or mainstream gamers like, except some genres like sports games or wrestling games.

HARDCORE GAMERS
1) Shinobi (Sony PlayStation 2): Hardcore gamers will be able to relive their old Sega glory days through this revival game. You play Hotsuma, a ninja who is battling demonic ninja forces. This game is all about action, focusing on close combat sword action. The game has style to spare, and a hardcore gamer will appreciate the difficulty.

2) Animal Crossing (Nintendo GameCube): A kind of Japanese game that is typically not released in America, Animal Crossing appeals to the real-time simulation in all of us. And we all love real-time simulations. This free-ended game looks very cute, but beneath the cuteness lies immense depth, enough to last hours and hours.

3) Splinter Cell (Microsoft Xbox): An action game in the vein of Metal Gear, Splinter Cell is brought to you by Tom Clancy. This third-person game places you in the role of Sam Fisher, operative for the Nation Security Agency. Exciting, stealth based adventures ensues.

4) EverQuest II (PC): If you've ever played EverQuest, you know what to expect. Hardcore gamers will continue to love this online role-playing game because its classic blend of adventure, chatting, and fun.

CLOSET GAMERS
1) Suikoden III (PlayStation 2): This role playing game is back, and it's bigger than ever. It boasts a roster of over 100 characters to play with, an involved story, and nice graphics. If you like role-playing games, you'll like this one.

2) Resident Evil 0 (GameCube): The Resident Evil saga continues…sort of. This is the prequel to the other games, and plays similarly to the other Resident Evil games. Slow and clunky, yes. Engrossing, exciting adventures, yes.

3) Halo (Xbox): If you have an Xbox you must have this game. If you like first person shooters, you'll love the smooth graphics, the weapons, the multiplayer mode, and the adventure.

4) Unreal Tournament 2003 (PC): This is the follow-up to the smash hit that created such a huge controversy between Quake III lovers and Unreal Tournament Lovers. I actually preferred Unreal, and this is no different. The weapons seem a little different, but the action is as fast and frenetic as ever. You'll need a good computer, though.

MAINSTREAM GAMERS
1) Grand Theft Auto: Vice City (PlayStation 2): The follow-up to the best selling Grand Theft Auto 3, this game is an incredible blend of adventure, action, and plain fun. Where else can you go hijack a car and beat up random pedestrians in the street? A word of caution: VERY violent.

2) Metroid Prime (GameCube): Samus Aran is back. This is the game to buy a GameCube for. A first person shooter, Metroid keeps you playing as you go around exploring a planet. Good science-fictionesque / bounty-hunterish action that draws you in for the whole game.

3) Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance (Xbox): It's the classic Metal Gear Solid 2 game with extras. If you didn't play it the first time, this is an excellent chance to play it. I don't recommend it for people who played the PlayStation 2 version, as it is basically the same game.

4) Warcraft 3 (PC): The real time strategy classic returns! Warcraft 3 introduces the new hero system, which helps to flesh out and strengthen the campaign mode. The multiplayer mode is good, but Starcraft vets may not like the limitations on troops.

CASUAL GAMERS
1) Dance Dance Revolution Max (PlayStation 2): Dance Dance Revolutions makes its debut on PlayStation 2! See what all the fuss is about as you hop, step and skip to the beat. To get maximum enjoyment out of this game, I recommend buying the dance pads as well.

2) Madden NFL 2003 (All Platforms): The king of football. It's beautiful, fast-paced, and realistic. Play this football game and marvel at how it gets you into the game.

3) Tekken 4 (PlayStation 2): One of the most popular 3d fighters returns. This is an upgrade rather than a sequel. Two additional characters, closed arenas, and beautiful graphics make this an enjoyable experience. The additional modes add value, and the classic Tekken gamely is still there.

4) Minesweeper (PC): If you don't like any video games, this is a fun game to start with.