The Truth Will Set You Free

I recently came to a new realization that God expects nothing from me, and loves me just as I am. Granted He hates the sin He sees in me and that is why He is refining me, but He loves the sinner: me. He has been showing me how weak and sinful I am, to the very core of my being, but freedom comes from the fact that God knows I am weak and therefore does not expect me to be stronger than I can be. He opened my eyes to realize that all my life I have been living up to the expectations that I felt were placed on me, whether it was from my parents, friends, self, or God. I was always afraid of disappointing others, including God, and therefore was always striving to be someone I was not. Naturally, I would often get very discouraged and wallow in self-pity, because in my eyes I was never good enough for my God.

But praise God, that is not the Gospel. A verse that spoke to me last week was Titus 3:3-5: "At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy." I always seem to forget that Jesus died for us WHILE we were still sinners. He saw this hopelessly sinful girl, knew the sins I would commit throughout my life, yet had compassion and laid down His life. He knows I am weak, He knows I am sinful, He knows me inside and outÉand yet He still loves me and accepts me just the way I am. I can be me, and nothing I ever do or donŐt do, can ever change His love and faithfulness.

Now I understand that this life is to be a response to what He has done for me. The cross is to compel me, thankfulness is to be my motive, and everything I do is to love Him more and know Him more. There is no more pressure placed on me: who I am, or what I do or donŐt do. I confess, of course, that it is easy to abuse the grace given me, but then I have to ask, do I really understand the cross? It is all about God and His grace; how worthy He is to be worshiped and how worthy He is of my life. In light of this truth, Luke 9:23 makes so much more sense: "Then He said to them all, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" Dying to ourselves is how we can love and know Jesus more.

My realization came a week ago, and I am already and constantly being humbled by how weak I am and how little I truly love God. I forget so quickly, get discouraged, or live for myself. It is a daily battle, and it is upon daily bread that I must rely. Each morning I need to be reminded of the cross and what it means in my life...for that is what gives my life and each day purpose. I can only hope and pray that this cross will be lived out in me...but this too, is only by His grace.