Dear Theophilus Archive: March 2002

A Whirlwind

By Jenney Han

It is crazy to think that it has been almost four years since I left Philly. It seems like yesterday that I was griping about the snow (I am still and probably always will be a Southern Californian) and the crazy amount of school work I had to finish. Looking back, I can only laugh at myself and wish all of life were so simple.

For me the allure of young adult life was the hope that it was the beginning of a new and glorious adventure in life. I had no cares, fears, or worries. There was only one way to go, and I was on my way. Little did I know that life would be so full of twists and turns. Perhaps a few more years down the road I will be able to look back and say that it has been a good journey, but for now, I would call it the most confusing and trying time of my life. Why didn’t anyone warn me that it would be this way? Or did they, but I plugged my ears and refused to take off my rose-tinted glasses?

Since graduation, I feel my life has been a whirlwind. I have gone here and there, tried this and that, yet have never had complete peace about what I was doing. There was always something missing. I never felt grounded. I would be lying if I said that that is all changed and that I have now found my niche in life, but through it all, the one constant I discovered was the desire to know my faith inside out. Emmanuel laid a good foundation for which I am really thankful, but I wanted more. This was one of the reasons I went to Youth With a Mission (it’s a long story) and that is why I am at the Talbot School of Theology right now.

I do not know what I am going to do with my studies or where I will be headed next, but strangely I am at peace with where I am right now. It is a scary feeling not having a straight path to what the future holds, and every now and then I lose myself in the worries of the world. But then again, aren’t tumbles, mistakes, and mystery all part of the adventure?

While in Philadelphia, Jenny went to BrynMawr College (1998), was a member of Koinonia College Group and was a teacher for the Emmanuel youth group. She currently attends Talbot Seminary in sunny California.