Dear Theophilus:: May 2003

The Great Physician

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend concerning my upcoming graduation from medical school, and he said, "Wow, it must be exciting to know that soon you'll be a doctor taking care of people in the hospital!"

"Yeah, actually I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing. It's a whole different ballgame being an intern. When you're a student, ultimately, you don't bear the real responsibility for patients. That burden rests on the interns and the residents."

In an attempt to alleviate the anxiety that must have crossed my face at that moment, my friend said, "C'mon, what's the worst that can happen?"

This was one question that I could answer in a heartbeat.

"Well… I could kill someone."

Medicine is an amazing field, and I feel privileged to be a part of it. That doesn't make it any less intimidating as I move onto residency. The last four years seem like batting practice for the real game that is now starting. Except that in this game, another person's life could literally be in your hands. Sound scary? Imagine yourself in my clogs.

There is a flipside to all of this, one that makes medicine - at least for me - all worth it. While this kind of responsibility is daunting, it is also what makes health care so exciting and unique. As you take care of people in their sickness and help them get healthy again, you connect with them in a way that is impossible in other settings. The moment you take on the role of the health care provider, the person receiving the care trusts that you will be acting in their best interest, and helping them feel better. Because of this, you are privy to a side of the patient that very few people get to see. All their problems, weaknesses, imperfections, and bad habits are spilled out for you to take and put together in constructing their story. The connection is special, and it provides an opportunity to do more than simply offer a cure, or prescribe a drug, or schedule an operation - it provides an opportunity to minister.

After my first year of med school, I participated in the Summer Medical Institute (SMI), based here in Philadelphia. That is where I first began to see the power of the gospel and how health care could be used to expand His Kingdom. We went door-to-door in the projects of North Philly, offering free screenings for high blood pressure and HIV. Amazingly, people opened their homes and their lives to us. Even more amazingly, they listened as we presented the gospel to them and more than a few were saved by the grace of God. It was astounding to see how He was drawing people to Himself, in spite of our inexperience.

I came out of that summer with a changed perspective on health care, seeing how God could use it to truly minister to souls. As I resumed my training, I was excited about what lay ahead. Unfortunately, what lay ahead was my second year of medical school, and I quickly got sucked into the vortex of academic pressure and individual achievement. When all you do is study and deprive yourself of sleep, it becomes easy to lose perspective. For me, concerns like rocking my board exams, getting great evaluations, and setting myself up for that perfect residency spot started to occupy my mind. Other things seemed secondary, including how my career was to be used by God. This year, however, the reality that I would be graduating soon started to hit me. Something was missing as I thought ahead to my future. I needed vision and purpose.

When I went with a team from Emmanuel to U.zb.eki.s.tan this past month, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I knew I wanted to go and serve humbly, and perhaps help out the medical missionaries we were visiting. But then I saw how the physicians and staff there lived their lives in faith, making God's glory their ultimate priority. I saw them at the orphanages, serving and loving these kids who had no family to love them. I saw them making the best use of very limited resources, and how even if they could not offer a definitive cure or treatment, they saw each interaction as a chance to minister. I saw person after person, come into the "prayer room" that was running continuously as we held clinic hours, hear the gospel presentation, and come out a child of God. I saw that souls matter to God, so they should matter to us. There is such opportunity in health care to impact the Kingdom. I came back to the States refreshed, renewed, and reminded.

I want to be a Christian physician, rather than a physician who happens to be a Christian. I want Jesus to define everything that I am, and permeate every aspect of my life, particularly this job that will require most of my waking hours for the next few years. Jesus did not only offer to cure disease and infirmity, but to offer healing to souls. My prayer is simply that I might see health care in the same way He did.

Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." - Matthew 9:35-38