Dear Theophilus Archive: October 2002
Notes From the First Annual Emmanuel Women’s Ya-Ya Retreat
By Mina Huh
Somewhere in these past years there rose up a quiet but determined cry to build a grace-giving, heart-piercing, power-packing Phileo sisterhood. Eventually this cry worked itself into the announcement section of the church bulletin in the form of an organized event: the first annual Emmanuel Women’s Retreat. So on a Friday afternoon in August, the honeys and I, packed into several passenger cars and Old Gray (the oldest of the aging Emmanuel vans) and took off out of West Philly for the weekend. Placed in small groups, we mixed college seniors, single adults, the married, and the mothers. Curiously, there were almost no children at the retreat. When I asked, most mothers happily replied that their children were at home with their husbands. The few men who were present remained only in the background and were either married, very engaged, or under the age of one.
From the moment I arrived, I was excited. Granted, I can get excited over sliced bread, but I was really expecting something – something to slam into our spiritual lives like a Mack truck. The anticipation was there because the retreat itself was a momentous occasion. There are not many forces that can cause women to gather in mass with great purpose in their hearts. It’s either the power of gossip or the power of God. I saw it on some people’s faces, they knew that God had done this. And when God gathers people, how can there not be anticipation?
It had been a while since I had the opportunity for extended times of praise, so I especially appreciated the worship. It was lead by a kicking all women band – including a drummer. The speaker was Tracey Pradis of Church of the Savior, a wife and mother of two. Over the weekend she painted for us the portrait of a godly woman. In workshops we searched through Scripture to define a godly woman’s actions, thoughts, words, and heart. Tracey also presented the six spokes that make up a balanced woman. Even if one spoke is missing or bent, the wheel can’t run as it was intended. I remember that as our small group shared, several women admitted from broken hearts that their spiritual lives had fallen apart. I was humbled to see how much they wanted to live according to God’s plan. I was deeply encouraged by their example and desire. I knew my heart wasn’t right before God, but I had no real repentance like I saw in my older sisters. I felt like I was stuck where I was, without the power to change.
I expect idol-shattering earthquake moments at retreats, so I was disappointed when I didn’t experience one. However, somewhere I made a quiet decision that I couldn’t continue to complain. I love teaching youth group, but often there are complaints that rise in my heart because teaching excludes me from Phileo. Tracey reminded us that we are already empowered with everything we need to live a godly life. My brain simply asked, “If I lack nothing, why am I complaining?” And I stopped (or decreased noticeably). It was such an obvious truth that I almost didn’t notice my standards picking up again. I had freely allowed selfish desires to rule me, but once I started desiring greater things, my behavior automatically changed. My mind was free to consider all God had given me, the privilege to influence youth for eternal differences, and the decision I made years ago that as long as I have breath, I want to go for broke in this Christian life. All or nothing. After the retreat, serving the Youth Group has been so sweet. It’s been easier to really value my time with them. Where my treasure is, there my heart is also.
