Dear Theophilus:: September 2003

Reflections from JAMA NewAwakening2003 - Family and Forgiveness

by David Lee

I used to collect crazy stickers when I was younger. I remember one sticker stated: "It's better to give than to receive, especially if it's a punch in the nose."

I am a high school history teacher and volleyball coach in Delaware. Hence, I am sometimes referred to as 'Delaware Dave' or nowadays as 'Diamond Dave' (which actually fits, because Delaware is also nicknamed the Diamond State). I was recently at my school's PTA meeting, where we were discussing the issue of installing lights on the football field. We're one of only a handful of schools in Delaware that doesn't have stadium lights, and night games tend to attract bigger crowds. At that meeting, I shared about our church, and how the carjacking/murder of Deacon Yoo about a decade ago prompted Emmanuel to invest in the community. Out of that tragic event was born the Quo Vadis ministry, the parking lot outreach, Lighthouse ministry, and a mass migration of congregation members and pastors making their homes in West Philadelphia. And as Emmanuel became a part of and served the community, the community in many respects began to embrace the people at Emmanuel. Going back to the issue of stadium lights, there has been resistance from local civic associations about putting up lights. They argued that it would increase nighttime traffic, loitering, and vandalism. My suggestion to the PTA members was to do something for the community (possibly along the lines of periodic neighborhood cleanups). In this way, the community would know that we didn't approach them simply because we wanted lights to be put up, but because we wanted to invest in the community.

Shift gears to JAMA NewAwakening2003. It was truly an awesome experience. The Jesus Awakening Movement for America (and now All Nations) was born 10 years ago, and this was their third national conference, held in Atlanta, GA. So twelve youth group and college kids from my home church (DKUMC), their youth pastor, and I packed into a 15 passenger van, and made the arduous trek down south. Several brothers from Emmanuel also made the journey, but most of them in the comfort of a climate controlled jet cabin (for the record, Pastor Paul Kim, Lawyer Paul Kim, The Paul Kim, and Jai Hong were Emmanuel's delegates).

I really liked how the conference was organized: each of the five days had a different and increasingly larger focus on revival and awakening: personal, family, community/church, nation, and world. So on the first night, God was really moving people to personal repentance. The worship was fantastic (David Crowder Band and Chris Tomlin), and the speakers were top-notch (John Piper, Louis Giglio, Cornelius Plantinga, and Loren Cunningham just to name a few). And the thing that I was most blessed by was the multiple generations of primarily Asian-Americans who were worshipping together in the same enormous arena. Children as young as Lawyer Paul's nephew, Mark, age 4, were raising their hands and jumping up and down with young adults, parents and grandparents (okay, grandparents probably weren't doing the jumping bean, but you never know). It seemed that generational (and cultural) gaps had been narrowed by our awesome God, who can break through any boundary. I even remember one pastor who was praying at the microphone during the last night's concert of prayer. As he began praying in Korean, I was tremendously moved, even though I couldn't understand more than a few words he had spoken. Dr. Daniel Choi (another JAMA speaker) translated as this pastor prayed. For the record, the English translation for the Korean word 'hallelujah' is…well, 'hallelujah.'

The message that affected me the most was Pastor David Gibbons' (of NewSong Church) on the second day, where the focus was on family revival. He shared mainly about the rift in his relationship with his dad. In the end, he posed this question to us, "Who do you need to forgive?" Immediately, I felt God urging me to pray about my sister. Pastor Gibbons also challenged us to minister to our families. After all, if we cannot minister to our own flesh and blood, how can we reach the world? Coming from a family of non-believers, I felt very inadequate in my efforts to evangelize to them, especially my oldest sister. My relationship with her had been strained for quite some time (for a variety of reasons), compounded by her divorce. We even aired out our issues to one another last year in a very tear-filled exchange. Still, my animosity towards her hadn't changed. Ken Davis (another speaker) encouraged us that same night to call our parents or other family members and say the words, "I love you." I didn't, but it was clear that God wanted to heal my relationship with my sister. Later in the week, I called and told her I love her; however, He wanted me to go further -- to show that love by spending time with her. I was very resistant at first, but knew that quality time was paramount in mending this broken relationship.

It's been almost two months since JAMA NewAwakening2003, and I have taken a couple of trips up to Brooklyn to visit her (and my other sister who lives in Queens). It's been difficult and I feel reserved at times. On my most recent trip to Brooklyn, I was able to view an art exhibit that featured a slide show of her photographs and also visited her work place (she's a health counselor in a fitness center). And we're starting to talk about stuff that we've never talked about before (including dating :P).

There is a long road to recovery for us, but I know that I need to make our relationship a priority in my life. I have devoted my last eight years serving the children at my school and community. I have developed a reputation of being an advocate for young people and inspiring them to greatness. Embarrassingly, I have spent very little of those eight years serving or even seeing my sister. Today, our relationship is starting from almost ground zero. And I think the best way to serve and support her right now is to be her friend. Then one day, maybe we will truly open our hearts to each other and let in a third Friend.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother [or sister], he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother [or sister], whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother [or sister].
1 John 4:19-21